Tomorrow we finally have an appointment with a child psychologist to discuss a full evaluation for Jude. A few weeks ago we learned the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist after our health insurance mistakenly set us up with a child psychiatrist who just prescribes medication and doesn’t offer any evaluation. You live and learn.
Anyway, I’m excited and anxious to meet with this psychologist. A lot of people give us their “opinion” about what makes Jude special but it will be nice to have a professional opinion. Instead of playing guessing games with our decisions about Jude we will now have a point of reference from which to start. This will narrow down a lot of options and give us a better starting place from which to make decisions about discipline, schooling and other activities.
It’s taken a long time for us to get here and we’ve all been crushed along the way. It’s difficult when your child doesn’t fit societal norms but his needs aren’t glaringly obvious. As parents we’ve received a lot of judgement from other people who assume they know best. I’m sure some of their observations and comments are well meaning but unless you are fully aware of our situation you don’t have the authority to make any judgements about my child.
What makes it tough now is that over the past few months Jude has become aware of how differently he is being treated and his poor little heart is broken and confused. This morning Jude was practically in tears because he didn’t want to go to school. He asked to go to a new school. In recent weeks he’s become very clingy and is constantly telling me he loves me and doesn’t want me to leave. This type of interaction from Jude is very rare and unusual, I can tell there is something going on in his heart that he is unable to express. My heart just breaks for him and I wish I could take away the pain and fix everything right now but transition takes time. We are currently researching our options and are awaiting the opinion of the psychologist before we make any big decisions. It is very obvious that Jude is in a toxic environment but we want to be very careful with our next move because he needs a school that will nurture and encourage him to flourish.
This is by far one of the hardest things Joe and I have endured thus far in our marriage. Parenting is difficult but when your child is suffering at the hands of someone else it’s all I can do to not go full mama bear on someone. We have been seeking much counsel from friends and family who know Jude. They have become our sounding board so we don’t make decisions based on what is justifiably right but based on what is in the long-term best interest of Jude. That has been incredibly difficult to separate out. I am also very thankful for prayer and the wisdom we find in scripture which has given us amazing hope and encouragement during this dark time.
The past month or so have been mentally, emotionally, and financially draining. But I finally feel like we’re close to a resolution… and by resolution I mean a developed long-term plan that will equip and encourage Jude to thrive.