I often dream of inheriting a lot of money or winning the lottery (It should be noted that I don’t have any rich relatives and I never buy lottery tickets so my chances of striking it rich are slim to none). I dream of all the responsible ways I would spend my money.
Pay off Debt
Give to Charity
Set Up College Funds for the Boys
Take Care of My Family
You know, responsible stuff. I’d be a humble rich person and would be grateful for my abundance having come from meager beginnings. At least that’s what I tell myself.
Then I recently stumbled upon this verse,
“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'” – Hebrews 13:5
But I don’t love money. Do I?
I think I might, a little bit. Even coveting money for a good cause is still coveting money. Ouch.
I use my “responsible coveting” as a way to relieve financial stress. When I get overwhelmed by our money situation I just pretend it doesn’t exist and that I’m ridiculously rich and can afford to give abundantly. It seems harmless but I’ve started to notice it’s creeping in deeper and deeper and I’m starting to become bitter because I don’t have this “blessing” I keep day-dreaming about.
So instead of “day-dreaming” about what I do NOT have I’m trying to remember to be thankful. I’ve started listing off all of the good things in my life, the things I’m thankful for instead of dwelling upon the things I don’t have.
I’m searching for my Thankful Heart, I know it’s in there somewhere probably under all this stuff I have to be thankful for.