“Mama, I want to go to Heaven to see Mema.” – Jude
With the recent passing of my grandma Jude has been asking a lot of questions about death and heaven. He will randomly bring up that Mema is still dead and that she is in heaven. We haven’t really talked too much about death or life-after death but I could see his little brain has been trying to figure it out. He also goes to a Christian preschool and they’ve recently been talking about Jesus’ death and resurrection.
Riding home from Target Jude told me he missed Mema and that she was dead. I reminded him that Mema was in heaven and that we would see her again one day. He asked how we could see her and I simply explained that if we have Jesus living in our hearts we will go to heaven when we die. It was quiet for a little while and then…
“Mama, I want to go to heaven to see Mema. I want Jesus to live in my heart so I can go to heaven to see Mema.”
I told him all he had to do was ask Jesus and he would live in his heart and that he could talk to Jesus right now if he wanted. He thought about it for a little bit and then jumped to ask if I had Jesus living in my heart. I told him yes to which he replied, “I don’t want you to die.” I then explained that hopefully it will be a long time before I die and he didn’t have to worry. I told him that just because Jesus lives in your heart doesn’t mean you have to do to heaven right away.
At this point we arrived at home the conversation sort of dropped off. I know that young kids can easily lose interest in a subject so I didn’t want to pressure him, I wanted to give him enough time to absorb what we were talking about.
Later that night he brought up Mema in heaven again. He said he wanted Jesus to live in his heart. So we prayed together.
“Is Jesus tiny now?” – Jude
I asked him why he though Jesus was tiny.
“So he can fit in my heart.”
He then said, “Jesus doesn’t live in your heart anymore, because he’s in my heart.”
That’s when I had to explain the omnipresence of God. I told him that God has a cool power so he can be everywhere at once and that he could live in my heart and his heart.
He asked if Jesus was in the lamp, by the wall, outside, etc…
He then said, “My heart is breaking Mama.”
I asked him why.
His reply, “Jesus is trying to get out.”
He asked where heaven was and I asked him, “Where do you think heaven is?” (mostly because I wasn’t sure how to explain it to a 4 year old)
He said, “Heaven is in the clouds, you can sit on clouds and run and jump.”
Then he told me he had Jesus in his heart and that one day he could go to heaven and see Mema.
I’m sure there will be many more questions and conversations about God in the future, and I’m really looking forward to it.