As Noah gets older I’m starting to notice huge differences between his personality and Jude’s. Obviously, they are different people with different personalities but what I’m starting to learn is that I’m not crazy.
You see, Jude has always been a full-throttle, high-energy, spirited child. Joe and I have struggled with disciplining and teaching Jude since day 1. People told me, “Oh he’s just being a boy” but that never made me feel any better.
I felt like my kid was different but no one noticed
I felt guilty that I wasn’t able to control my child
I prayed something was wrong with him so that somehow this wasn’t my fault
I felt guilty that I would rather him be ill than take the blame for his behaviors
I felt like I had failed as a parent
I felt that I had somehow failed HIM
But as his little brother grows and develops I’m learning that I wasn’t crazy and that Jude’s personality is different. He is strong-willed. He’s full of energy, all-the-time. There is nothing wrong with him, he is just the quintessential “spirited child”.
And while parenting a spirited child is challenging I’m learning that “spirited” doesn’t mean broken. Jude is a leader. He’s creative and highly intelligent. He can master complex ideas, solve difficult problems and remember detailed instructions with ease. Of course he has his struggles, sometimes simple tasks can be daunting to him. But Joe and I are learning how is brain works and how to communicate and teach him.
I would be lying if I didn’t admit that it’s hard work. Some days I want to throw in the towel. Some days I lose my temper. Some days are just hard. But thankfully Jude is loving and patient with me. And thankfully Joe is there to be my support. We are all in this together.
I know Jude was given his spiritedness for a reason. God made no mistakes when he gave us this child. He will do amazing things and I’m so honored to be his mom. His spirit is strong and as proven time and again, nothing can break it. I know that Jude will grow up to be amazing man.