The Only Thing I Want After the Baby Is Born.

  fullsimon baby simon

There is a lot of stuff that comes along with a new baby. However, 3 babies later I have all of the stuff (and have learned most of the stuff isn’t necessary), there is really only 1 thing I want after baby 4 is born.

I want HELP.

I don’t often ask for help. I guess I think it’s a sign of weakness or something. But it’s very difficult for me to ask for help even when I truly need it. I’m working on this. Having more children, more responsibilities and more stress has helped me realize that I cannot do life alone. I need to accept a helping hand every now and then.

I recently read an article about America’s Poor Postpartum Practices and it was very eye opening. In our society new mother’s are expected to bounce back from labor within just a few days but in no way is this a realistic expectation. In addition to the physical healing that takes at least 6 weeks there are also hormonal and emotional adjustments happening. Throw in additional children, work, and household responsibilities and it’s completely overwhelming what new mom’s are expected to accomplish after giving birth.

Our society is so self-reliant that we’re a crushing ourselves. So I’m going to let the first thing that comes from my lips be YES, whenever someone asks if I need help.

I need helping taking care of household duties like laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, etc. I need help taking care of 3 other boys… homeschool, preschool drop-off, preschool pick-up, lunches, nap times, potty training, entertaining them. I need help taking care of me… time to take a shower, time to rest.

My only anxiety about this pregnancy/baby is the amount of responsibility that is put on me, it’s overwhelming. I wish we had the money to hire a mother’s helper or nanny but that isn’t in our budget. The only thing I’m asking and praying for is that family and friends to care for our family after baby 4 is born. As of right now Joe is planning on taking off a good bit of time after the baby is born but he will also need some assistance because caring for 3 small children is a 2 person job.

In the past we’ve had our wonderful family and friends gather around to support us but during those times I felt guilty. I felt guilty that other people were taking time away from their lives to care for me, but this time I will accept the support sent our way without any hesitation or guilt. I know I love being able to support and help my family and friends and I would never want anyone to feel bad about asking me for help.

I love my community.

Jessica is a family lifestyle blogger living in Raleigh, NC with her husband and four sons (7, 4, 3 and 1). Jessica started thebkeepsushonest.com in November of 2009, but has been blogging since 2003. Jessica writes about family life, recipes, travel and products for families. She is also a Work-from-home-mom who manages marketing and social media for a local accounting company.

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3 thoughts on “The Only Thing I Want After the Baby Is Born.

  1. Andrea B.

    Well put, all of it. I wish all moms knew to ask. To not feel guilty. I always want to offer and then if I’m not sure – I don’t want to be wrong – to put someone out – I just want to drop something off … that’s all my rambling way of saying if you need something, I’m here! I may be kind of far-ish distance wise, but I’ll send you a pizza delivered to your house as soon as you’re low on food drop-offs from relatives and friends if that could be helpful!!!

    Reply
  2. Terra Heck

    I’m going through this same thing right now, being afraid to ask. Only it’s because I’m the caregiver to my mother with cancer. People have offered to help but I feel guilty.
    Let’s make a pact….I’ll ask people for help with my mom and you ask people for help with your baby. Deal?
    I think people really do want to help; they just need to be asked.

    Reply
  3. Carrie

    Dear Richard,Nice article…one thing i want this implement into out production environment, can you suggest me some more advice . Like i have two servers with 2 private IP. How can we published our website through this 2 IP to convert into a single real IP. How can we do a session rel,pcation??BRiMasud

    Reply

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