There is a lot of stuff that comes along with a new baby. However, 3 babies later I have all of the stuff (and have learned most of the stuff isn’t necessary), there is really only 1 thing I want after baby 4 is born.
I want HELP.
I don’t often ask for help. I guess I think it’s a sign of weakness or something. But it’s very difficult for me to ask for help even when I truly need it. I’m working on this. Having more children, more responsibilities and more stress has helped me realize that I cannot do life alone. I need to accept a helping hand every now and then.
I recently read an article about America’s Poor Postpartum Practices and it was very eye opening. In our society new mother’s are expected to bounce back from labor within just a few days but in no way is this a realistic expectation. In addition to the physical healing that takes at least 6 weeks there are also hormonal and emotional adjustments happening. Throw in additional children, work, and household responsibilities and it’s completely overwhelming what new mom’s are expected to accomplish after giving birth.
Our society is so self-reliant that we’re a crushing ourselves. So I’m going to let the first thing that comes from my lips be YES, whenever someone asks if I need help.
I need helping taking care of household duties like laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, etc. I need help taking care of 3 other boys… homeschool, preschool drop-off, preschool pick-up, lunches, nap times, potty training, entertaining them. I need help taking care of me… time to take a shower, time to rest.
My only anxiety about this pregnancy/baby is the amount of responsibility that is put on me, it’s overwhelming. I wish we had the money to hire a mother’s helper or nanny but that isn’t in our budget. The only thing I’m asking and praying for is that family and friends to care for our family after baby 4 is born. As of right now Joe is planning on taking off a good bit of time after the baby is born but he will also need some assistance because caring for 3 small children is a 2 person job.
In the past we’ve had our wonderful family and friends gather around to support us but during those times I felt guilty. I felt guilty that other people were taking time away from their lives to care for me, but this time I will accept the support sent our way without any hesitation or guilt. I know I love being able to support and help my family and friends and I would never want anyone to feel bad about asking me for help.
I love my community.