I need your Pottying Training Advice

Potty Training is my enemy.
Jude refuses to wear a pull-up except at night because he’s a big boy and “uses the potty”
However, he has a least 4-6 pee accidents a day.

At this point it’s a battle of wills and I have no idea how to win this battle.

Daily Senario
Knowing it’s about time for him to go potty…
Me: Jude let’s go use the potty. 
Jude: I can’t
Me: Yes, you can. You are a big boy. I will go with you.
Jude: No (starts to cry)
Me: Jude, it’s time to go potty. (takes his hand and gently leads him to the bathroom)
Jude: NOOOOO (screaming and going limp)
Me: Jude, STOP. (letting go of his hand) Stand Up. Now. One. Two.
Jude: (begrudgingly stands up still crying)
Finally in the bathroom
Jude: (loudly crying)
Me: Ok let’s go potty. You are a big boy and you know how to use the potty. Do you need my help?
Jude: NO (more crying while standing completely still)
I stand there waiting for him to calm down a little so we can continue except at this point he’s already peed in his pants because he made himself so upset he peed himself. I kneel down to help him remove his wet pants and he starts to push me away and fight back. I get his pants of and place him on the potty. He’s still wailing and completely unresponsive physically. I walk away. He continues to cry. Then stops crying and then begins to play in the bathroom. I return only a few seconds later.
Me: JUDE! We are using the potty right now not playing. Sit on the potty. (in my stern voice)
Jude: (more crying) finally goes potty a little.
Me: Good job buddy. See I knew you could use the potty. You are a big boy. I’m proud of you for using the potty. You need to listen to mommy and obey. Let’s wash our hands.

End scene

Ok so that is a typical scenario in our house. What am I doing wrong. He completely knows how to use the potty by himself. I’ve seen him do it several times… all alone. But his big problem is me telling him to go potty but if I don’t tell him to go potty he will pee his pants. He doesn’t care if his pants are wet. He would walk around the house all day with wet pants on, get a bad rash and not care.

I’m at my wits end here. But here’s the kicker, he will almost always make it to the potty in time to poop.. without any assistance or asking.

Jessica is a family lifestyle blogger living in Raleigh, NC with her husband and four sons (7, 4, 3 and 1). Jessica started thebkeepsushonest.com in November of 2009, but has been blogging since 2003. Jessica writes about family life, recipes, travel and products for families. She is also a Work-from-home-mom who manages marketing and social media for a local accounting company.

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